A FEW THINGS TO MAKE YOU LAUGH. (WE HOPE)
WHEN CAM AUDITIONED FOR 630 CHED MORNINGS
GRUMPY GORD’S PROBLEM WITH HIS TV
SO, my Nefew Skippy brought a new 4-K TV in a Box and set it on Sting Ray — a beautiful;;; picture of a beach — and I spent a 30-minute half hour thing to rewind and fast forward it …, nottthinng . it don’t work … some 4K box….I am Grumpyeeee
Maybe the time is right.
And after having a little chat with our son and grandson Monday night on the way home from a four-on-four hockey game, the idea seem to get more and more steam.
There is a problem, though, and it’s a significant one: I really like Don Iveson, not only as mayor, but as a man. He’s also a friend.
My heart of hearts tells me I shouldn’t oppose him in any way, but there’s no time like the present.
Mind you, I owe him one.
You see, when the Edmonton Oilers were in their playoff run in April, Don and I both had beards. Playoff beards, you understand.
If we were in a contest, he won hands down. No question.
So the timing is right to run against Don for mayor of Edmonton.
After all, I have experience in politics. In Grade 9, I was junior high vice-president at Glenrose School Hospital and then, two years later, I was senior high vice-president.
I’ve had other positions, including sitting as a member of the Premier’s Council on the Status of Persons with Disabilities.
My campaign manager is my 14-year-old grandson, Nicholas, because we’ve decided to go after the youth vote. In fact, we are having policy meetings to see if lowering the voting age to 16 might sway the vote our way.
Who knows? Maybe we can figure out a way people can use Instagram to vote. I’ll get Nic on that right now.
I have cerebral palsy and can’t walk, which will help our campaign slogan. “Don’t wait. Vote Tait, a mayor who can sit down with anyone.”
I’ve already got a few items on my platform.
I know. I know. You’ve heard it before, but I promise to lower taxes. You see, I use a wheelchair so we won’t need a mayor’s chair. We can sell it at an auction sale and take all the proceeds and put them in the city’s bank account.
Lower taxes? You bet.
Having a disability, I’m going to try to give Edmontonians with disabilities more independence and dignity.
Not only we will have bike lanes, we’ll have wheelchair lanes — in all areas of the city. We will introduce a solar-power program under the roads to make the wheelchair lanes heated in the winter so they can be used year-round.
We will also install free wifi service in all Disabled Adult Transit System vehicles so passengers can work or play on their hand-held devices on extra-long trips. The password: arewethereyet?
And speaking of public transportation, we’ll introduce a new LRT system from Edmonton to Vegreville to promote tourism and multi-culturalism.
We also plan to introduce summer school at Fort Edmonton Park so students get an understanding of the rich, true history about our city.
And much more.
We have a lot more work to do so I have to cut this short.
I think I have everything in place, but there is one thing that, quite frankly, will determine if I can in fact wheel for mayor.